okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
