i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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