Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
