I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you would pick up someone in the library
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
