hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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