just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
