Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
