I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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