I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
