I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
