uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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