I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
