She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
