We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
