Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
