Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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