Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
