As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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