I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We're too hungover to prance.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
