I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
