I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
