i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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