Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You are the jesus of drinking
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
