Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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