so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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