So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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