LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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