I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
