Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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