8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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