So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Randomize
