We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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