my mouth tastes like poor choices
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
