No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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