Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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