ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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