My friends, they love my intelligence
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
