I can't watch pbs sober anymore
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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