I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
