if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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