you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
