I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Your cock deserves a montage
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
