You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
