Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
