Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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