Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
honey bunches of taint.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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