Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
