Fuck appropriateness.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
