FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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