i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
