i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize