i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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