i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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