i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Your cock deserves a montage
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
