Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
