there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize