i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
