I hate all girls vehemently.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
